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Wednesday, 31 August 2016

Day 1912 - No real scandal

Mystery still surrounds the authorship of 'My Tour Diary 2016', with no explanation having come from the OM camp as to the lumpiness of it all.

As the new MorrisseysWord blog is being promoted by Our Mozzer (OM) himself on Twitter, it is definitely not the work of a fraudster, but similarly it is not of a high enough standard to have been the work of Morrissey.... although we are talking about a man who wrote both the classic, There is a Light That Never Goes Out and the not so classic, Oh Phoney, so perhaps we are witnessing the work of a parody writing genius at a low ebb.

There are certainly enough references in 'My Tour Diary 2016' to link it to the original works of the MorrisseysWorld parodies; such as the mention of the tour tombola, and the inclusion of Solomon - which is an ongoing joke to suggest that Morrissey has no idea who is currently in the rhythm section of his band. There is also a very funny bit about getting Gustavo to the front so that Moz can, "rest my eyebrows", but there is also the misspelling of Stavanger, lots of poor punctuation, and the other bits and pieces that I mentioned yesterday; which incidentally, have now been corrected. It is all very confusing, but maybe it is supposed to be. Here for the record is the piece in it's entirety:

My Tour Diary 2016



4th - 6th August 2016

Oh Bergen, so much to answer for, and this is where all the pain started. Boz forgot the 'tour tombola', which forced us to carry on with the 2014-15 set list. Although this is a classic set which no-one can tire from, it would have been nice to dust off the old classics; who wouldn't die to hear Journalists who Lie? I myself was quite looking forward to playing Dear God Please Help Me, alas my kegs remain private. For now. *Note: I always thought Boz's weight gain was from him constantly carrying the 'tour tombola' on his front. I'm paying him too much if his frontal weight gain is down to beer and food.

The comments over at that so-low place were predicted by the tour crew several weeks in advance of the first show. Come to think of it some of the comments are verbatim what was said. I hope someone is not leaking information. They will have to be dealt with. Solomon are you listening?

I retired to my room only venturing out once all week, mainly due to the constant drizzle. But also the threat of bumping into any audience members is always apparent, much worse still is my Norwegian fan base, which I have always avoided.

During the 'dress rehearsal' of 5th August, I am met with the horror that none of my DvN zip-up classical shirts fit me. This is mainly due to me having consumed 4-5 Pina Coladas each day on my pre tour vacation in M**ritius. The old acid reflux has suffered from this too. So I was forced to borrow a loose fitting shirt from Boz, much to my shame. I casually threw on a cardigan which was quickly sourced from a Norwegian factory outlet store. And voilĂ , with a few jewellery tweaks l looked classically and effortlessly iconic.


7th - 8th August 2016

A new interview has worked its way onto the Internet from someone who was in awe of my very existence. Who can blame them really? But it's nice to know that Mozza has still got it.

Spent the morning watching the diving highlights of the Olympics. That Tom Daley does look a nice young man. I feel he would look very fetching as part of my entourage. But then again he does have quite defined abs and chiselled features. I'm not jealous of course, I mean have you seen Old Mozza's face and body recently? No, no, but I can't have him upstaging poor Gustavo, who is reluctant to come forward during Speedway these days, in case someone says something nasty about his gut. Stop being a cry baby Gus and get to the front so I can rest my eyebrows. *Note: Not sure if Tom Daley is a vegetarian, he does look like he enjoys a bit of meat on a Sunday. Doesn't he know he cannot be a crew member if he even looks at a piece of meat? Regrettably another dream falls and dies.



Stavenger apparently became a city in 1125, and judging by what I saw it has not been updated or renovated since then. Perhaps this is where Mike Joyce would feel at home? It is also one of the most populous parts of Norway which, of course, is no claim to fame as I only saw 4 stylish people in my whole stay, and one of them was Boz. Really we should not care how many people live in a city, but judge this city on the style of its inhabitants, therefore Manchester ceases to be a city but instead a giant industrial complex north of Watford.
The above was confirmed with the lacklustre audience, all with confused pale faces and stinking breath. What can be done?

Our Mozzer appeared in The Wrong Arms yesterday evening and announced, "The past. The past. The past. It has cheated the blood from my body." He reappeared three hours later to add, "Mystery still surrounds me. How many artists could survive this long with no real scandal?" How strange. Is a scandal from Morrissey's past just about to break?

And finally, with no connection whatsoever to Morrissey, having watched the Simon & Garfunkel Story at the theatre the other evening, I cannot stop listening to the excellent song, Richard Cory. Where would we be without genius song writers?

21 comments:

  1. thank you Ratty dear! The Tour diaries are very funny and the tweet about a scandal is very intringuing! Have a nice evening ciao!

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  2. What this should tell you is that BRS Chairman is not OM. Really poor writing and clearly a different person.

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  3. I am taken aback by how influenced I have been by other peoples thoughts. The Tour diaries maybe aren't as highly polished as previous articles from MW. My own reaction to this initially was to feel a little befuddled. No more.
    Yet I allowed a seed of doubt creep into my head.
    I believe it's a good thing to challenge & ask questions. But I am angry for not staying true to myself.
    I dread to think how OM is feeling.

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  4. I posted about if I were a teacher I would write in a red pen must try harder and I think it has been removed

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  5. Come on Rat you can't possibly believe such low quality work has anything to do with Morrissey. You're not a dumb guy.
    I spent the past few days deeply sad about scathing things 'broken' has said to me on Twitter. You know this just isn't amusing anymore. The quality of the Twitter accounts has deteriorated significantly since the days of Alf and Astra which I think seemed to be believable. The wit seems missing and is mostly replaced with meanness and a plethora of grammatical errors. I refuse to believe Moz would say hateful things about the devoted fans who queue for hours upon hours to see him. Broken's last few tweets concerning the sincerity of my depression are the last straw. I've spent the past two years on and off suicidally depressed and Moz has been my lifeline through it all.
    It's sad that I have to try and convince myself these things aren't happening to preserve my life and any sanity I have left.
    Clearly - even without my emotional blabbering on which seems to give people such a tremendous laugh - anyone on camp Moz could come up with material better than what's on this new blog. He could down an entire bottle of Bombay Sapphire and write something exponentially superior using a crayon on the back of a napkin.
    I honestly hope no one else gets hurt by this like I have been.
    As I said before I'm certain he observes and at times may interact but perpetually thinking any account or blog that shows up is him is clearly unwise.

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    1. MerryAnne, One minute you are ecstatic because Morrissey wears a cardigan on stage following interaction on Twitter, and the next minute you say that this can't possibly be Morrissey because the Morrissey you know and love would NEVER be hurtful to his fans. Well...

      From what I read of your interaction on twitter with Broken, he was just being brutally honest - that is what he does. He also likes to get a reaction. You aren't the first to fall foul of him, and you quite possibly won't be the last.

      And as for the MW parody piece, you have been quite scathing in both your criticism and authenticity of it, and yet it certainly bears hallmarks of the original MW pieces, and both Romina and EARS have posted on here suggesting that they believe it HAS come from Camp MW, and they have both been following the story a lot longer than you... and as I pointed out in my piece above, it HAS to have come from Camp MW, because OM is promoting it.

      The only other theory is that Camp MW has NO CONNECTION to Morrissey, and that the DDD have wasted the last 5 years of their lives following a fraud. A fraud who keeps making Morrissey do things on stage, like wear cardigans, sing certain songs, make signs, wear blue roses etc etc.

      Our Gods are not always what we want them to be.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKp-JsXLqmM

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    2. I've vowed to myself to keep out of this for now on because it's upsetting me too much - but I have this on notifications right now, so that has lasted all of 30 minutes.

      The cardigan was the sweetest thing ever and made me very happy; it made my year. As I said, I think he does send us signs. However, I do not see how Broken was being brutally honest with me; there is absolutely nothing wrong with people admitting they are depressed and talking about it - whether it be in a therapists office, with friends, or on social media. However, if people see me a certain way, there's nothing I can do; I can only be honest. The truth is I don't like myself, so why should other people like me?

      As for the parody piece, you too were scathing about it yourself, you can't deny that!

      I'm just not strong enough for BRS right now I guess.

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    3. It is true that I am confused by the new MW article, but as I say, it HAS to have come from the same 'camp' that produced the original MW, so your "anyone on camp Moz could come up with material better than what's on this new blog" is only true if you are saying that MW has NOTHING to do with Morrissey.

      I have also re-read your first comment, and one line intrigues me: "I refuse to believe Moz would say hateful things about the devoted fans who queue for hours upon hours to see him." A) Where has ANYONE been "hateful" and B) What makes you think that those people who choose to queue for hours on end are any more special than all the other fans? They are queueing for themselves, not for Morrissey. There is no need to queue, and why would it make any difference to Morrissey?

      Delete
    4. Be gone, you are not what we are looking for.
      MW was never meant to be uncomplicated and charming. It's a challenge. Many have found it provocative. Many have found it to be overabundant.
      Your tirade is not welcome here.
      Goodbye.

      Delete
    5. I was trying to defend Moz. I believe he's a lovely person. It's okay. I'm going. Bye.

      Delete
    6. I was trying to defend Moz. I believe he's a lovely person. It's okay. I'm going. Bye.

      Delete
  6. This is like the Mperor's new clothes.

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  7. As much as I hate giving you and FTM the time of day, I feel I need to write this as-
    1. Marianne is my friend
    2. I cannot sleep until I've written this
    3. I will enjoy telling you things you are simply unaware of

    Firstly, when you were told 2 weeks ago to "migrate to a grave", Marianne didn't gloat or rub it in. In fact I vividly remember a DM conversation that she was quite worried about your well being. Hold on to your friends, or maybe not in your case?

    Secondly, Marianne said before that the current Pessoa accounts are not like Alf or Astra. Now of course this is bound to happen as each account plays a character. But Rat, cast your mind back to when the @BRSChairman account first appeared. Now it was I, that told you that I believed it was Morrissey, and you threw yourself in head first, without even asking for an explanation.
    So how did I know? Well I tell you how I knew. Back in June last year, @alfsbutton asked Orange to make a new MW chatroom. She did and it was called the Mozeleum, and everyone in the BRS past and present, was invited. That is everyone except you. You wasn't invited on Alfs instructions. This new chatroom is where we got all our predictions, mine where that Boxers where to be played, and the Terry Richardson photo shot. Also it was the room where Marianne, Jaz and myself discussed Jack the Ripper, and how much we'd love to hear it live, whilst we had a viewer watching us, and less than a week later it appeared on the set list in South America.
    In the chatroom we had many friends join us, there was Alf and Astra, as well as some new friends such as THELEGSINSPECTOR and, you've guessed it, BRSChairman. Also my Mike Joyce character was sublime, I think you had the pleasure once?
    Now all these accounts logged in as guests.
    So to now actually get to my point, which makes Mariannes comment valid.
    Astra introduced the original Still Ill account, Still Ill sent me a DM with his new account @alfsbutton (incidentally you was excluded from that account at first, wasn't you?). But Chairman was just a guest character in the Mozeleum. That, after a few weeks created a Twitter account. It could be a fake Pessoa. Dawn was introduced by Chairman. Marianne is correct to be cautious.

    I'm still quite deluded by Chairman and Dawn, but I've had my suspicions. Mainly as when @alfsbutton said goodbye, he did say he wouldn't be back. You'll say we've heard that before! It seemed quite final to me.

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    1. You know how much I hate correcting people, but Mozeleum makes my eyes bleed, it's Mozoleum please, or rather was, I deleted the room a while ago.

      Cheers

      Ex fruit

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    2. Apologises Fruit. It was gone 2am and I didn't bother checking.
      Just to say I meant you no harm by saying all of the above. I hope you understand. After all, it was collectively the whole of the past and present BRS that kept this from rat. Not just us.

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    3. I declined my invite to be a member of Chuck's blog, but was never invited to the Mozoleum. So, another correction. Not everyone in the BRS past and present was invited. Only the special few. I shall now go and cry into my leek and potato soup.

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    4. I think Kerry forgot to mention the downfall of the Mozoleum was actually due to all the characters they (She and Mr. Rob) would sign in as, obviously some were not too happy, why now she decides to gloat about this is beyond me, hilarious though

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  8. I was also involved in the chatroom mentioned by Kerry and I concur that Rat was not to be allowed knowledge of it under any circumstances per Alf. That much I can attest to. I also witnessed Alf's utterances on that chatroom become a reality.

    As for more recent events, I have been following all the happenings as usual but have mainly maintained silence as I have enough mystery and intrigue in my own life and cannot spare room in my head and heart for too much speculation on the inner workings on OM and MW and such.

    Yet I will almost definitely be bringing a blue rose to the Brooklyn show and will be in the front row as usual even though the recent pessoas mostly choose to ignore me and everything I tweet.

    And Marianne, I have been hurt and confused many times on this journey and I am a suicidally depressed, an addict and have nerves that jangle like a guitar with loose strings, yet I remain glued to this adventure. This is my midnight ramble. Goodnight.

    I am always watching. 'OO'

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  9. Like Marianne, and some others here have ventilated both in DM and on this blog, I have been suspicious too of the latest developments in MW. Is it as Dawn mentions a challenge? What kind of challenge does she mean exactly? A challenge in monotonousness?
    What makes you so convinced, Rat, that this 'HAS to have come from the same 'camp' that produced the original MW'?

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    Replies
    1. Dawn Mist may be new around these parts, but Broken has been with us a long time, and the three accounts (inc @SeminalArtist formally @BRSChairman) are closer than close.

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