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Friday, 24 February 2017

Day 2089 - Ear, Ear

Yesterday evening, I went to see my latest 'favourite new band', The Sherlocks. Before leaving, I popped into The Wrong Arms for a pre-concert half, and bumped into both Dawn Mist and Our Mozzer. For the record, here is our conversation:

RAT: Guess who I'm going to see tonight? *Puts Will You Be There by The Sherlocks on the jukebox*

DAWN: Dreary

RAT: I'd expect no less from you

DAWN: You expect too much from me. You all do

RAT: I expect nothing; although a thrown together blog piece would've been nice, but I'll live without it...I have The Sherlocks!

DAWN: My creative juices are otherwise occupied. Deciding which table runner to buy is exhausting.

RAT: Is this what it's come too?..... go with the black one!

DAWN: I shall not take your advice on such important matters.

OUR MOZZER (or SEMINAL BULLY as he is now labelled on his Twitter profile): One does not simply throw together a blog piece. I know that works for you but some of us have higher standards

RAT: Really? Some might say you've not written a decent blog piece since 2011

OUR MOZZER: And you would be a sad old man without me to fill your evenings

RAT: I AM a sad old man, even WITH you filling my evenings....and you're a sad old man with nothing better to do than fill my...

OUR MOZZER: Why are you still here then? You should surrender yourself to the blackness of your life.

RAT: I like it here. Would I have turned down the opportunity to sit with Oscar on those Parisian nights of 1898/99? Of course not!

OUR MOZZER: One doubts you would have been invited. Not even to clean his ears

Dawn had been in The Arms since 11am. She was presumably bored. Here are her offerings:

"One must decide on how to waste the rest of one's day."

"NationalToastDay Champagne? This early? I shall toast to that."

Dawn then retweeted a photo tweet that OM had posted on January 20th, and added, "Oh, what a coincidence. The first official photo of 2017 in similar attire."



Dawn continued:

"Perhaps I shall sign up for snap chat?"

Our Mozzer later tweeted, "My debut novel was met with scorn. Will the second one be better received?"
Image result for LIST OF LOST

On my return from seeing The Sherlocks; who incidentally are a very capable live band, I was lured into the toilets of The Arms by OM, who informed me, "there has been a blog post since the 14th of February." I immediately checked the True Morrissey blog, and there was indeed a new post, dated Feb 14th, although it certainly wasn't posted on the 14th, as I have checked the blog daily. I can categorically say that it was posted yesterday evening!

Here is the new piece, entitled Twenty Years of Sorrow

The hateful place run by the hateful face of Tseng reached the milestone of twenty years of false accusations, false news, and dreary threads recounting my relationships with any old b******. Its milestone is the millstone around my neck. Apparently So-Low has been through "several major redesigns" although the last one appears to have been in 1999 I have maintained one iconic image throughout my public existence and I have become a seminal artiste. So-Low will forever be remembered as the place that even Angela Merkel wouldn't accept a refugee from. Approximately 50% of the posts are from Joyce or Joyce-affiliated human dregs.

One only has to look at the illiterate clowns who post on this site. Anonymous commented, Anonymous comments too much I find - they should probably get a job or an illness, "wasn't morrissey taller and skinnier? these shoulders don't look very steven," They use steven, yes steven not Steven, as an adjective. For what were they trying to say? These big shoulders don't look very iconic? Big shoulders they say, well I was carrying the weight of the world and my under appreciated genius even back then.

I wish David Tseng and Uncle Fatty the very worst for the rest of their days.

OM's list of personal hate figures





The parents of Joyce

The test-tube of Tseng


Elizabeth the Lizard


Sudden illness

Boring Twitter accounts



Dust created by Joyce


  1. Thanks again for a class blog post Rat & nice to know you're back in Blighty - did you have a fine time in NY? I'm very excited now that activity in The Wrong Arms has galvanised, I wish OM all the best with his personal tragedies. I hope the balance will soon be serene.
    Yes, I remember seeing OM's blog post yesterday evening and was very surprised you hadn't recorded it, especially considering you had commented. But then again, I didn't think it was possible to change the dates...maybe it's one for the Sherlocks?

  2. Evening Ratty dear, I'm happy to see you blogging and tweeting my day are more enjoyable reading about you and our M. Have a nice week end!

  3. It was a nice surprise to find the new blog piece yesterday. I can also attest to the fact that it wasn't posted until late yesterday, despite the Valentine's date. I eagerly look forward to the hopeful appearance of a second novel.


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