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Friday, 30 June 2017

Day 2215 - Gone!

The Morfessa twitter account has been closed - she has left The Wrong Arms. Perhaps she tired of imbeciles who were unable to recognise a simple Patti Smith lyric when they saw one.

In other news, a trailer has been released for the film England is Mine, which is due to premiere at the Edinburgh Film Festival on July 2nd before hitting cinemas on August 4th.

I have to say that although the film is no doubt full of inaccuracies, the trailer has made me want to see the film - and after all, despite the inaccuracies, it is about Morrissey, so what Morrissey fan wouldn't want to see it?

I would like to have asked Morfessa what she thought of the trailer, but no doubt I would have received the same answer that Morrissey gave me in that exclusive FTM interview in April, when he wrote:

"I already know how the narrative arch of this film and the various clichés and tropes it will delve into. The Morrissey character will be portrayed as a loner, dressed in a brown cardigan, drowning under copious amounts of literature who was destined to live with his mother until he died of old age at 47. The Morrissey character will be depicted as hopeless and loveless and ugliness personified with no hope of ever escaping his early-twenties exile until a youth called Johnny decided to knock on his front door. Why watch something when you know the story?"

Actually, now I think about it, that's exactly how the trailer portrays him; although it may be a brown overcoat as opposed to a brown cardigan!
Oh well, I'll still venture into Cineworld in August with my bucket of popcorn, if nothing else, to see the wonderful Jessica Brown-Findley, who plays Linder Sterling.

Image result for england is mine morrissey shirt

Thursday, 29 June 2017

Day 2214 - Miss Patti Smith - an apology


Dear Miss Smith, you will never read this, but it is only right and proper that I publicly apologise for having criticised a section of the lyrics in your song, Pissing in a River. For me, a mere hairy-backed blogger to call your lyrics, "primary school", is quite unacceptable and rather laughable; after all, what do I know of song writing?
I also apologise for being a philistine for not recognising where the said lyrics came from when they were tweeted by one of your fans, a Mr S Morrissey of Manchester.... or LA or Switzerland or ?

I must confess that I don't own any of your LP records, just as I don't own any LPs by a number of other artists who influenced Morrissey in the 1970s, such as Iggy Pop and the New York Dolls. I was too young to buy the LPs when they were released, and I have just never gotten around to really listening to them in any great depth - I guess the truth is, I just never felt that they were mine. Does that make sense? The songs that spoke to me as an eighteen year old were by the Smiths, who are mine, and forever will be.

Anyway, I really shouldn't be so quick to pass comment on something that I know nothing about - I can be a bit of a gobshite at times, although actually, this is part of my charm.

I shall sign off by playing a Youtube clip of Morrissey singing an A cappella snippet from Pissing in a River - the same lyrics in fact that he tweeted the other day.

I won't pretend that I now intend to go and listen to Radio Ethiopia on repeat, but I do appreciate that you helped shape the songwriting of Morrissey, and for that, I shall be forever in your debt.

Yours sincerely and apologetically



Wednesday, 28 June 2017

Day 2213 - Yesterday when I was young

I don't have much to report since my last blog entry of last Saturday, although there has been a couple of visits to The Wrong Arms by Morrissey as Morfessa.

On Monday morning, Morfessa tweeted these 'supposed' lyrics:

Oh I give my life for you
Every move I made I move to you
And I came like a magnet for you now

As opposed to the wonderful lyrics that we had posted last week for (new songs?) The Last of a Foul Brood and The Test of Naked Male Flesh, these lyrics about a magnet just didn't ring true to me, and I let Morfessa know it. I got the reply:

"They are not my lyrics. However, they ARE lyrics. Hashtag Philistine"

I have googled the words, but can find no such song. I may well be a philistine, but I am glad these aren't Moz lyrics. Goodness only knows what song they come from.

Morfessa then tweeted:

"I dedicate track 5 to @slightdawnmist"

According to a Morfessa tweet of last Friday, track 5 is The Test of Naked Male Flesh, although according to Dawn's own track list of last Tuesday, track 5 is a song called Dying and Yet Somehow Still Laughing, so I don't know exactly which song Morfessa is referring to, although I would imagine it is the former.... although why a song about the temptations of male flesh would be dedicated to some old bint of a lighthouse keeper, I really cannot say.
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I found it rather confusing that Morfessa was dedicating songs to Dawn, as it has widely become accepted amongst the Dreary Deluded Dozen that Morfessa IS Dawn, and only came into existence as a twitter account because a certain somebody forgot the password for the Dawn Mist twitter account. I put it to Morfessa that she/he was Dawn, and got the reply, "I most certainly am not. I have more hair." When I then pointed out that Dawn had described herself as having thick white hair, Morfessa replied, "Dawn was an excellent liar." Could Dawn actually be Damon? I guess we'll never know.

Image result for damon anacreonte

Morfessa also tweeted, "I dedicate track 8 to @TheRatsBack", which, according to Dawn's list, is the song  I Tried Love (In Order to Become a Man). Morfessa tweeted some supposed lyrics to it late last night, as follows:

"You tried love to become a man but your masculinity is torn apart where you stand. Hold your own hand and remain alone."

I realised straight away that these lyrics were a spoof, and tweeted to say I wasn't buying it. Morfessa  dragged me into the Ladies toilets of The Arms and said, "How dare you not buy my latest offering. I spent at least ten seconds on that". I replied, "5 seconds more than on Tony the Pony then", to which Morfessa came back with, "eight seconds more." I then got told off for my poor use of the English, with Morfessa tweeting, "Please remember that numbers up to ten should be written as words". It's like being back at school!

Image result for school kids 1970s

I also had a brief chat in the Ladies with Morfessa on Monday morning, where I was told, "I have been waiting for a telephone call for over an hour. How dare they keep a seminal artiste waiting."

Half an hour later, Morfessa came back into the Ladies (yes, I was still in there... constipation if you really must know) and announced, "That was an interesting phone call. I wonder - could this be an exclusive for FTM?" I asked what it was about, but got no reply.

And finally for today, the mysterious FTM commenter, Ernesto Jones - who was the first to tell us that Morrissey had a new record deal, back on March 13th - has today posted some lyrics from Charles Aznavour's Yesterday When I Was Young in the comments section of my last blog entry. I don't suppose it has any relevance to anything, but I thought I would mention it anyway.

And finally, finally, FTM is currently getting more hits from Switzerland than from Italy.

Saturday, 24 June 2017

Day 2209 - The Test of Naked Male Flesh

Following the publication of Dawn Mist's album track listing and lyrics for the song Last of a Foul Brood, I decided to take a closer look at the titles of the songs Dawn had listed, to try and decide which ones, if any, might actually be real. I decided that No Human Sound could well be a real one, and so on Thursday, I made up some lyrics which I posted on Twitter. Morfessa responded by tweeting, "Barking up the wrong tree", but I don't know if that was in reference to my lyrics; which were about abuse, or about the song title being a real one.

Morfessa returned to Twitter again last night to post a picture of some sailors, accompanied by the caption, The Test of Naked Male Flesh, which is the title of another song on Dawn's list.
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Morfessa then posted this set of lyrics:

Rebuked for the evil that resides in the skin
Dissuaded from ever thinking of him
You shame yourself with smiles
Sigh and point blame at the sky
Past the steps on the parade
Where happy memories are never made
You leer into the window and
That's when you see him
And he's so handsome
And you're so ugly
And oh the test of naked male flesh
You tried your best
You did your best

About 20 minutes after posting these lyrics, Morfessa posted them again into my Twitter DM box, with these additional ones:

Rebuked for the evil that exists in the mind
Convinced towards normality
Now with downward gaze and face of sorrow
You've made an enemy of tomorrow
Past the steps on the parade
Where happy memories are never made
You leer into the window and
That's where you see him
And he is young,
Younger than you've ever been
The test of naked male flesh
Shut your mouth
And watch him get dressed

Locked up in your terrors
Hating and fearing every soul
Especially your own children
Because you failed
The test of Naked Male Flesh
The test of Naked Male Flesh

I replied to this tweet by saying, "I didn't think that title was a real one. I think you're toying with me", to which Morrissey replied, "Have I not been for years?" I tweeted back, "Yes, but I wouldn't put it past you to throw out a real song", and got the reply, "Well imagine if that was the real song." I asked, "Is it real?". He replied, "Is anything?", followed an hour and a half later by, "Track 5". Toying or real? I guess we'll find out soon enough.
Image result for morrissey grinning

The only other thing I have to report, is that The Queen is Dead reached Number 1 on the Official UK Singles Vinyl Chart yesterday. I sent a DM message to Morrissey, congratulating him on his first UK Number 1. He replied, "It should have been Irish Blood, English Heart". I agreed, but suggested that he still should treat himself to a glass of something. His reply..... "A glass of what? Paint stripper?". Despite him not seemingly very excited, I have no doubt that Our Mozzer will feel some sort of pleasure.... but rather than celebrate, he will instead continue to brood at the injustice of Irish Blood, English Heart missing out 13 years ago.

Wednesday, 21 June 2017

Day 2206 - The last of a foul brood

Following the publication of yesterday's FTM, Dawn Mist took to the comments section to post her own album track listing. This was posted at 12.25pm (Rome time):

1) Sailors and Tailors
2) Love Blinds from Imperfections
3) Non-Negotiable Possibilities
4) Stoned and Alone
5) Dying and Yet Somehow Still Laughing
6) Grain of Sand and Impoverished Hands
7) Vanity of Nothingness
8) Tried Love (In Order to Become a Man)
9) Wet Slippery Slopes of Hope
10) The Test of naked Male Flesh
11) Potent Sneer
12) Latent Fear
13) Lames Cries, Emaciated Lies
14) Last of a Foul Brood
15) The First Shall Be The Last and The Last Shall Be The First

Additional Bonus Material
1) The Lament of Dawn
2) Standing Foot to Foot with Fate and Smiling
3) No Human Sound
4) You Promised Something You Could Not Deliver
5) Wasted Years Tasting Tears

DVD Extra of Dawn Mist reading A.E.Houseman

It is interesting to note that when Dawn writes song titles, she uses capital letters for each word, where as Morfessa doesn't. I reckon that this is done on purpose to make us believe that they are two different people, but personally, I'm not buying it... and I'm not sure that it's for sale anyway.
Image result for basil brush boom boom gif

Morrissey (as Morfessa) made one very brief appearance in The Wrong Arms yesterday at just after 7.30pm (Rome time). There was no interaction with any of the locals, nor any visits to the Ladies Room, he merely quoted what would appear to be the lyrics of Dawn's Track 14, Last of a Foul Brood:

Fed poison from childhood
Drip fed dead eyed abuse
Drop by drop and drip by drip
You can still taste the bitterness now

Never knowing how to be loved
And you always assumed that you
Were the last of a foul brood

Fed abuse from boyhood
Castigated and upbraided
Dripping in cruelty

Poor infant flowers destroyed
By adult hands before they could bloom
And you always assumed that you
Were the last of a foul brood

You used to dream of love but
Now you know you were made for the grave
As you're the last of a foul brood

Mocked by god so you laugh at man
Now you run with coat billowing in the wind
The last of a foul brood

No doubt this is yet another spoof set of lyrics, but I have to say, I really do LOVE them, and could seriously see it as a Moz song.
Image result for council poor boys house 1970

I decided to have a go at making up some song titles of my own, and managed to reel off 11 of them within about 30 seconds - it's easy. Dawn responded to my titles saying:

"OM has instructed me to inform you that he is howling at your incompetence. Both at song titles and your journalistic endeavours.

Each man reaps what he sows and you have sowed sh*t."

I replied, "Hmm, I'm not the one who has to come up with a new masterpiece. Let's hope the old codger hasn't lost it when it comes to real titles and real songs. The world is watching", to which Dawn came back with:

"OM does not consider the population of Runcorn as the world."

Tuesday, 20 June 2017

Day 2205 - The fastest plumber in Manchester

As I lay in the communal garden of my bedsit on Sunday morning topping-up my rather wonderful 'Summer '17 tan' whilst listening to Hatful of Hollow, it suddenly occurred to me that Morrissey could greatly benefit from letting me listen to the songs on his new LP, so that I could give him my honest critique. I therefore dropped him a short message via Twitter's Direct Messaging service asking him to email me the songs "without delay".
Image result for hairy back sunbathing

Twelve hours later, as I wrapped-up my sunbathing session for the day, it suddenly occurred to me how naive I had been in making such a request to Morrissey - I just hadn't thought through the consequences. What if I got sent the songs, and then someone somewhere leaked the album onto the internet. Who would get the blame? That's right, yours truly. I grabbed my phone and sent another message to say that I had changed my mind, and requested Monsieur Morrissey not to send the songs after all.

At 1.40am (Rome time) on Monday morning, I received the following reply:

"I was not going to. But now you have requested not to, I just may."
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This morning, at 2.13am (Rome time), I received another message as follows:

Track listing

1. Barbed wire is no cure for the truth

2. Drummers and accountants

3. Loathsome lawyers and lonely litigants

4. Mud slinging names stick like frost

5. Picking roses from the dozens

6. The fastest plumber in Manchester

7. Derma filler is no excuse for looking like that

8. Thump the table

9. Bed of distrust

10. Judy was a drunk

11. Intolerance of liberalism

12. There is no twelve 

Bonus track

Hair loss is nothing to be snipped at

The original track three was listed as 'Lonely lawyers and loathsome litigants', but I received a follow-up message saying, "Edit track 3. Should be loathsome lawyers and lonely litigants'." - Even when making up a parody track list, the man is a perfectionist!
Image result for morrissey pained

Friday, 16 June 2017

Day 2201 - "I must say. I'm rather excited" - Rome is where the art is

Morrissey (as Morfessa) returned to The Wrong Arms yesterday for a five minute period, between 2.25pm (Rome time) and 2.30pm, and posted the following:

"Bent on revenge. Bent on getting even."

"The mortal sickness of the mind and I'm never unhappy to be unkind. So I look at you and I wish you ill."

"Lay down in your bed of rust"

"Let their filthy voices sing 'God save the queen', an anthem for the nation. But we spit on the land we perish for. Then we turn to God."

To me, these looked like song lyrics - very good ones at that, but when I replied to the 'bed of rust' tweet, asking if it was a lyric, I got the reply (at 4.22pm Rome time): "It is not. It will not be. The strength of other lines will render this powerless."

I added that I really liked the 'bed of rust' line, to which I got the reply: "Well you would. You are already accustomed to the idea."

Image result for man and woman asleep backs to each other

A couple of hours later (at around 7.40pm Rome time), whilst I was powdering my nose in the Ladies, Morfessa came in and said, "Remind me. What was The Scenestar's password the other after-evening?"

The answer was, as Morfessa fully knows, "LYRIC'. This leads to two questions:
A) Was Morrissey in cahoots with the people at The Scenestar to issue 'Fake News', and
B) Are those tweets of earlier really new lyrics?
I would guess that the answer to the first question has to be YES, otherwise, where on earth did The Scenestar get that password from, and the answer to the second question must surely be NO... surely?.... I mean, he just wouldn't.... would he?

Image result for morrissey mischievous

Morfessa returned to the main bar of The Arms at 10.30pm (Rome time) to reply to an old tweet of mine, in which I had stated that I didn't think Joe Chiccarelli was not producing the new LP, and asked who was? Morfessa replied, "Dawn."

I'm pretty sure that I was wrong about Chiccarelli, because he actually posted a tweet featuring a picture of Sophia Loren back on June 4th along with the words, "Inspirational walls in my summertime studio locale"..... Joe's in Rome!

Just after 11.30pm (12.30am Rome time), Morfessa posted another tweet in my DM box:

"Plausible side"

I didn't see it until 7.30 this morning, when I asked, "Is this a song title?" and then answered it myself stating, "Of course it isn't!" Morfessa replied (at 8.47am Rome time), "Would I tease?" followed by, "I must say. I'm rather excited." And so are we!

Image result for morrissey happy

The teasing continued later in the morning with these tweets, which again look like lyrics:

"Are you a fool or a madman? Is there a difference, can you even tell?"

"You've written the story of your life and at the end you realised that you never truly lived."

"I am a grain of sand thrown about by an unknown hand."

Morrissey returned again later this evening to chastise those in power regarding the Grenfell Tower fire:

"Westminster elite do not care. They are safely tucked away. High rise horror a Ballard ideal for them."

"Death for no reason is MURDER"

"The establishment is weak. Freezer Clay will be gone soon. It's up for grabs. Take control. Take power."

I had no idea who Ballard was, but good old Google informs me that J G Ballard was a novelist who wrote a book called High Rise - hence the reference to him regarding Grenfell Tower.

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And finally, The Queen is Dead was released today as a 12 inch single and 7 inch picture disc. Next Friday, it will be Number 1 in the Official UK Vinyl Chart - the very first Smiths/Moz Number 1 single.

Thursday, 15 June 2017

Day 2200 - Titbits

Romina last night left a comment on my blog entry of Tuesday saying, "Morrissey is truly busy, all day long in the studio and just a little walk before dinner....shssss".

I now have this image in my head of Romina's net curtains twitching, as she sits at the window of her small apartment in Rome, watching every coming and going from the recording studio.

Image result for gina lollobrigida AT WINDOW

Morrissey may well be truly busy all day recording his latest masterpiece, but he still took the time to briefly make contact with the BRS in The Wrong Arms last night, and I also caught up with him in the ladies.

At just after 8pm (9pm Rome time), Morrissey, as Morfessa, tapped me on the shoulder whilst I was powdering my nose and said, "It's almost more satisfying to direct message you titbits."

This was an obvious reference to my recent blog entries, where I (and others) have been trying - without success - to make sense of all the strange happenings of late. I am SO glad that our cluelessness is providing His Mozship with some entertainment.
Image result for morrissey feeding cat

Moz returned to the Ladies Room at 10.55pm (11.55pm Rome time) and rhetorically asked, "Is there a third surprise?" before adding, "June. June. June...".

Ten minutes later and he was in the main bar of The Wrong Arms, where he quoted the following words from the song, Nowhere Fast:

"The poor and the needy are selfish and greedy on her terms."

Goodness only knows if that song quote is supposed to mean anything - yet another riddle!
As for the "third surprise", I think we've already had three surprises: A) the hint of a new label, b) the hint of a new LP, and C) the hint of a new concert. Could we be about to see the release of a single in June? Or perhaps the announcement of a full tour? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows?

Wednesday, 14 June 2017

Day 2199 - "Do you still believe everything you read?"

There are some strange happenings going on in Morrissey land! Here is a brief resumé:

On Friday evening, as reported on FTM on Saturday, Morrissey sent me a private tweet to ask, "Do you still believe everything you read?" I had no idea what he was going on about, and when I asked him to explain, he simply replied, "Everything you don't read."

Image result for morrissey reading

On Saturday morning, I woke up to find that Morrissey's nephew, Sam, had posted a mock up poster of a Morrissey concert at the Hollywood Bowl. With Morrissey's words of Friday still on my mind, I wondered if perhaps Sam's poster was 'fake news', posted just to see if everyone believed everything they read, but I also wondered if perhaps Morrissey had been referring to something else, such as the rumoured new record deal. I sent Mozzer another tweet to ask what he was referring to when he had asked me about believing everything I read, but again I received no reply.

On Monday, it looked like I had been wrong to be suspicious of Sam's poster, as LA music website, The Scenestar announced:

Morrissey will perform under the stars at the Hollywood Bowl on Friday, November 10. It is his first time back at the historic venue 2007. Tickets to see the former Smiths frontman at the Hollywood Bowl will go on sale on Friday, June 16, at 10:00 a.m via Ticketmaster. There is a Live Nation presage on Thursday, June 15, at 10:00 a.m. Password: LYRIC.

Pretty conclusive. It was on!

Image result for morrissey hollywood bowl

Yesterday evening at 5.40, Morrissey eventually replied to my question of Saturday, tweeting, "Hollywood", followed by, "You'll see". I had no idea what these words meant, but had no time to ask, as I had a cricket match starting at 6.

When I returned home at 9pm, I read a comment posted on FTM by Heather (timed at 5.53pm) that Nephew Sam had removed his Instagram post with the poster, and The Scenestar had removed their article about ticket sales!!!

WHAT is going on? Is this concert happening, or is it not happening, and WHAT game is it that Morrissey is playing? Is this all about proving that people shouldn't believe everything they read, or is it a publicity stunt to get people talking about the concert, so that when it is officially announced, it generates more ticket sales? I guess we'll find out soon.

And finally, yesterday's FTM entry had the lowest number of hits since the very early days of FTM, when it was just me writing for myself. This has made me smile. Oh, the fools.

Tuesday, 13 June 2017

Day 2198 - Back to the Bowl

There has been no sign of Morrissey in The Wrong Arms since Friday night, but there has been confirmation that the rumoured Hollywood Bowl concert is going ahead on November 10th, so the excitement that had been coming from the LA Mexicans based on those rumours hasn't been wasted, and Morrissey will be going back to the Bowl for the third time.

Image result for mozziah blue rose mexicans

I still find it strange that is on the poster, when that website is no longer being used. What I don't find strange, is that Morrissey Facebook is also on the poster, even though Morrissey denied that he had a Facebook account. The reason that I don't find this strange, is because Morrissey also denied that he had a blog, and that he was on Twitter, but they turned out to be little untruths too.... not that anyone outside the BRS or DDD has managed to work that out yet! Is it too much to hope that just one of those Morrissey fans who dismissed the MorrisseysWorld blog and Twitter accounts as a hoax based on Morrissey's denial now has a lightbulb moment, and realises that perhaps, just perhaps...


Much as though I would love to go to LA, and much as though I would love to see a concert in the Hollywood Bowl, and much as though I would love to see Morrissey in the Hollywood Bowl, I won't be going. I will just have to wait until the tour comes to the UK, or at least somewhere a little closer to home.

Whilst on the subject of concerts, I must mention a thought that struck me on Sunday night, as I watched Rod Stewart conclude his headlining performance at the Isle of Wight Festival. I'd never seen Rod in concert before, but just presumed that he would finish his performance with Sailing, which he did. Likewise, when I watched The Pretenders on Friday night, I presumed that they would finish with Brass In Pocket, which again, they did - with Chrissie Hynde even making some reference about it being the one that everyone had been waiting for. The thought that struck me, as I stood there in that field on Sunday, was that Morrissey doesn't have that one song that most people at a festival would be waiting for.... and I like that.

Image result for morrissey festival

And whilst on the subject of being struck by thoughts, earlier today it suddenly occurred to me that the words given to me by Morfessa last Friday; which I wrote about in my last blog entry, might, just might, be lyrics from a new song.... but then again they might not!

*Goes off singing* Do you still believe everything you read? And do you still believe everything you don't read?

Saturday, 10 June 2017

Day 2195 - No reply!

Any thoughts that I may have had of avoiding the news yesterday morning quickly disappeared as my Twitter feed started to fill with comments from Labour supporters who were very excited that Terrible Theresa had been humiliated at the polls by good old Jezza.

The excitement turned out to be nothing more than false hope, because although the Tory party lost 13 seats; which meant that they didn't have an overall majority, Muddler Theresa quickly did a deal with the bigoted Irish party, the DUP, and formed a Government before luncheon. What is more, despite all the media and the Labour supporters crowing how it had been a disaster for the Tories, their percentage of the overall vote actually INCREASED, which means that worryingly, they have become more popular with the British electorate than ever. The likes of Owen Jones don't seem to have realised this, they are only seeing what they want to see.

The whole British media and public are misreading the result of the General Dejection, because they seem to think the writing is on the wall for the Tories, but all that has actually happened is that the UKIP vote fell apart - which was obviously going to happen, as their job has been completed - and those who voted UKIP IN 2015, returned to the traditional parties of Labour and Conservative - particularly Labour in the north of England. We also saw some Londoners who are annoyed that Brexit is happening switch to Labour, but the likes of Zac Goldsmith got back in, so it all balanced itself out. Effectively, NOTHING has changed - even the cabinet is exactly as it was before.

Image result for theresa may

So then, as we were. Back to Moz.

Yesterday evening, Morrissey (as Morfessa) made his first appearance in the public bar of The Wrong Arms since May 27, as he came to give his take on the result of the General Election. I wasn't present, as yesterday evening I was stood in a field watching the Kaiser Chiefs, Alison Moyet and The Pretenders - all of whom were really very good. Morfessa posted three tweets:

"Diabetes Abbott was Corbyn's fatal mistake."

"Freezer May had her get out of jail free card all along. Hashtag DUPCoalition"

"First the banks controlled the government. Now the media controls the government. Keep voting until the minority get their way."

Morrissey shares my dislike of the dreadfully inept Hackney MP, Diane Abbot, but her constituents obviously love her because despite all her gaffes, she was re-elected with a huge majority. She certainly doesn't help the overall Labour cause, but in reality, as much as I like Jeremy Corbyn, he too will never appeal to enough people to ever become Prime Minister.

Diane Abbott, Labour's shadow home secretary

Although yesterday was Morfessa's first appearance in the public bar for a fortnight, I did have a brief exchange with her on Thursday afternoon in the Ladies Room:

ME: Did you have a choice of Sanctuary owned labels? If so, what made you choose Trojan particularly?

MORFESSA: No reply! (A reference to my blog entry of Thursday - As Eric Morecambe used to say, "I suppose you think that's funny?")

ME: B*****d! Our relationship is so one sided. I give and I give and I give and I give.

MORFESSA: I've given you much more.

ME: I guess I can't argue with that.... I owe you so much... can I pay in monthly instalments? Anyway, let me try again, why Trojan?

MORFESSA: Why not?

I shall now give up on the label front!

Morfessa returned to the Ladies Room a little later and tweeted:

"Strange how the Facebook account is acceptable. Perhaps it'll close like a Twitter account."

I replied, "People would think that it was fake after all, and that you'd had it shut down."

I don't imagine for one minute that the Facebook account will close. It has now taken over from True-To-You.

And whilst on the subject of True-To-You, Morrissey's nephew Sam has posted a mocked-up poster on his Instagram account of a Morrissey concert at the Hollywood Bowl on November 10th. No one seems to know if this is real or fake news. The fact that True-To-You is written on the poster would tend to suggest it is fake, but who knows! It's certainly getting the LA Mexicans excited.

Back to Morfessa. I had another brief encounter in that Ladies Room of The Wrong Arms yesterday evening:

MORFESSA: Do you still believe everything you read?

ME: ?.... What are you referring to?

MORFESSA: Everything you don't read.

ME: I don't understand your riddles. You're going to have to spell it out to me.

There has so far been no reply!


And finally, a very youthful looking, slimmed down, Boz Boorer has posted a photo on his Instagram account of himself inside the Forum Music Village recording studio in Rome, holding a photo of a new Queen is Dead 12 inch single, which is apparently being released as an HMV exclusive this coming Friday. No Smiths singles for 25 years and then we get two in two months. Lovely.


*Goes off singing* This happened once before, when I came to your door, no reply, they said it wasn't you, but I saw you peep through your window.... farewell to this land's cheerless marshes, hemmed in like a boar between arches...

Thursday, 8 June 2017

Day 2193 - Labels

Following on from the publication of yesterday's FTM, I received a surprise visit from Morfessa whilst I was in the ladies room of The Wrong Arms touching up my lippy. She tapped me on my shoulder - I only have the one - and said, "I believe I also mentioned "labels" to you." And then she was gone.

Image result for backstage drag queens

I scratched my head for a minute, wondering what Morfessa was referring to, and then scrolled back through my Twitter DM messages, where I found the answer.

On Sunday April 16th, Morfessa had contacted me with regard to the lack of comments on the exclusive FTM interview with Morrissey that I had published that day. Whilst we were conversing, Morfessa randomly threw in a mention of "labels". It was completely out of context with the conversation, and made no sense. I guess I now know that it was a hint that Morrissey had a new record label. Here is the transcript of that DM conversation:

MORFESSA: Only three comments. Why do we bother? All accounts shall close if there are not 50 comments by tomorrow.

ME: I just don't understand what is wrong with people.

MORFESSA: Labels. They instantly label themselves talking to myself.

ME: ?

MORFESSA: (No reply)

ME: You talk in riddles. Are there ongoing talks with a label? Please say there is, don't say there's not...


ME: Eh?

MORFESSA: (No reply)

ME: What do you mean that someone labels themselves by talking to you?

MORFESSA: (No reply)

Image result for trojan record label

I have nothing else to add today, except to mention that Italy usually ranks at Number 10 for the number of hits on FTM, but it is currently Number 4. I guess the only explanation is that Romina has been reading through old FTM classics!


1. USA
2. UK
3. Germany (Hi Chuck.... let it go!)
4. Italy
5. Netherlands (Hi Inge... yes, it really IS him... still!)
6. Ireland (Hi JG & Banjaxer)
7. Indonesia (Hi Yuna... who's not a man)
8. Japan
9. Poland
10. Australia (Is harps banned?)

Wednesday, 7 June 2017

Day 2192 - "It's on!"

When Morrissey (as @seminalartiste) tweeted, "June, June, June" on Sunday April 9th, we Dreary Deluded Dozen knew that it was a hint that something Moz related would be happening in June, but what none of us expected; well I certainly didn't, was that it would be....... THE RECORDING OF A NEW F***ING ALBUM! *Blows trumpet, lets off party poppers, and begins to dance around the kitchen in just a pair of pants*

Last Friday the Morrissey Official Facebook page posted the message, "It's on!", and included a photo of Morrissey outside Pizzeria La Montecarlo in Rome. This led to us fans asking ourselves, WHAT exactly is on, the pizza oven?, but more photos have since emerged of Moz and all of his band members in and around Rome, so it doesn't take a genius to deduce what it is that is ON! *Jigs around again*


I am presuming that the recording is taking place at Forum Music Village, which is where the Number 1 album, Ringleader of the Tormentors was recorded twelve years ago.

This will be the 11th studio album of Morrissey's 30 year solo career, and will be his first on the Trojan record label. The Trojan label has never had a Number 1 LP before, so as long as Morrissey can avoid releasing the new album at the same time as Dread Beer-run, Justin Babbler or any of the other 'Stream-agers', then perhaps Moz can achieve his first No1 for over a decade, and a first for Trojan.
Image result for forum music village morrissey

There has been no sign of Moz in The Wrong Arms in the past week - I guess he's busy! - so I shall now return to the glorious cricket fields of southern England. I shan't be voting in tomorrow's General Dejection, and shall have my television off all day on Friday as Terrible Theresa and the Tories celebrate their landslide victory.
Image result for dads army cricket

*Goes off singing* I am walking through Rome, with my heart on a string, Dear God, please help me

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