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Friday, 18 May 2018

Friday May 18 2018 (The real and proper Day 2438) - Ginius.....or otherwise....Mozzer's ruin

Just after 9pm yesterday evening (UK time....although apparently Morrissey has recently been spotted in Berlin, so 10pm Berlin time), Morrissey once again entered The Wrong Arms in the guise of Alfs Button. It transpired that he may have been a tad pissed, which was rather amusing. His first tweet of the evening was a shot at me:

"I find FTMs blog titles extremely boring and dull. @TheRatsBack must improve."

Today's blog entry has two titles, so hopefully one of them might mildly amuse His Mozness.

Here are some more of Morrissey's tweets:

"@KimKardashian is living proof that beauty cannot be bought, whatever the budget."

Image result for kim kardashian ugly

"On my fourth gin down and I begin to ponder - what was so unsatisfactory at the third that I need a forth? Is this how Beethoven felt?"

"Hunt "royal" "life" not Free Life."

"I give you advice and I often self medicate. However I am no doctor or philosopher."

"In years to come artists will attempt to create a scene from the musical debris I left behind. They will fail. Nobody will realise."

Image result for morrissey

"Alas death can be pleasurable. However once committed we are no longer allowed choice for more. That is one of the cruel tricks of life."

Mozzer then took a swipe at Marcus the Greek, telling him that there was still time for him to develop a funny bone. Marcus took exception to this and tweeted, "You must be drunk. The sober Morrissey is much sharper." Morrissey replied, "Please see aforementioned post regarding Gins."
Marcus came back with, "Your grammar is all over the place. No more gin. This could get very embarrassing", to which a numb fingered Moz replied, "Has it not been embarrassing before Marxus (sic)?" - if tweets could slur, then Mozzers were slurring. This is EXACTLY how a tortured genius of the 21st century should be - drunk tweeting. Beautiful!
Image result for morrissey typing

Marcus continued the conversation by tweeting, "I guess you can always delete the tweets or the entire account in the morning", to which M replied, "One would never do that. If I could I would have deleted Kill Uncle may moons ago." Marcus then asked, "Is this a cry for help?" to which Morrissey replied, "I think your wife has been crying that silent cry for years now." - drunk or not, and despite what Marcus may have perceived, Moz was as witty as ever.

Jesse then chipped in tweeting, "An inebriated Morrissey is still sharper than the rest of us", to which Moz replied, "A dead Morrissey is still sharper than 48% of Britain." That dig at the 48% who voted Remain made me laugh, but it was too much for Remainer Marcus, who tweeted, "God. This is painful." Morrissey replied to this with, "Now now, I was a comedian last night but tonight I am one gin away from career suicide?" Marcus rather wittingly came back with, "Not possible. Gin is temporary. Genius permanent." Morrissey obviously found that tweet funny too, and replied, "You've redeemed yourself in my eyes with this tweet. Carry on."

Final Score:

Pissed Mozzer 3 Marcus the Greek 1

There was another appearance in The Arms from Mozzer this morning, just before Midday....or just before 1pm to those in mainland Europe. He was obviously bored, which I get the feeling is a rather common state at present. Here are his tweets:

"Would anyone care to participate in a game of tiddlywinks?"

I replied that I was up for Scrabble, but my limitations were four letter words, to which he rather wittingly replied, "Don't push yourself."

When Nat (@HoarsleyCry) said that she would play tiddlywinks as long as they didn't stick to the rules, Morrissey replied, "We will be adhering to the modified rules ratified at the 2001 meeting of the national tiddlywinks association." This made me laugh, but when I googled it, I discovered that there really were modified rules passed in 2001, and tweeted to say this. M replied, "I know. I have read them." He really is bored!

Image result for playing tiddlywinks


  1. It was 3-2! I replied with:

    May I be permitted to make one small suggestion in the spirit of both your gin and genius? Don"t take it all so seriously! The world is full of crashing bores and you are not one. Relax. Its going to be fine.

    And he liked that. And it's all true!

    1. Marcus, I was just about to apologise for missing your late consolation goal, but having just checked your Twitter account I see no 'like' of that tweet by Our Mozzer, so the score must remain at 3-1. Your conversation with a drunk Moz could turn out to be a piece of history that interests people, especially if old Mozzer ends up a destitute piss head in Paris, like Wilde....not that this is the REAL Morrissey, of course.

      Anyway, good luck in your next encounter with OM. Losing 3-1 to Morrissey - even though he was drunk - is nothing to be ashamed of, and in fact to have scored one, which he even applauded, will quite possibly go down as the highlight of your career.

      Joy and Gin


  2. aaw and no mention of the like for my german version of Downtown.. still ignore is my middle name

  3. Well, I missed all the fun as usual. Didn't 'gin and bare it' get 2nd place in the poll (or is my phone deceiving me)? Why didn't it appear in today's title?

  4. Replies
    1. A DM to say you were right is worth two goals. Let's call it 3-3 and you get to go into extra time - I just hope for your sake that he doesn't bring Broken on as a sub, as he has previous for tearing your defence apart.

    2. That is very generous of you Rat. Thank you. But I will decline. Let's still call it 3-2.

  5. Yes Marcus good game. Enjoyable match that I actually got to watch in real time !

  6. I missed all the fun too so once again thanks to the Rat for his precious blog! Moz, gin and genius forever!😘


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