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Thursday, 17 May 2018

Thursday May 17 2018 (The real and proper Day 2437) - Nothing to see here

Despite my blog readership having never been so low, and despite only ever getting comments of any description from a half-cut Manchester City fan - who usually then deletes his comments once he's sobered up - and an American woman who is far too pleasant and thinks she's a cat, I soldier on. As I have written many times before, this is a historical record of Morrissey on Twitter, so although it may not be appreciated by many at this current moment in time, I have no doubt that one day in the future; when all probably won't be well at all, this blog will be of importance, and appreciated.... or something.

Before I get on to Morrissey's latest visits to Twitter, I must first make mention of yet more 'coincidences' that have occurred. Yesterday afternoon, whilst I was enjoying myself playing cricket at Shanklin; which incidentally is where Our Mozzer once said he would like to play cricket with me.... although he did later retract this saying, "It is impossible for me to play cricket, I will break for tea though"....where was I? Oh yes, Yesterday afternoon, a Youtube clip appeared on the Morrissey Central website titled, 'The Real Morrissey???'. The clip was of a Morrissey impersonator, but the relevance of the clip to our little story is the title, because the title of my blog entry of Tuesday was.....wait for it..... 'The real, real Morrissey'.

The second coincidence comes from another Youtube clip posted on Morrissey Central yesterday. It was a clip of The Smiths playing I Want the One I Can't Have. Two weeks ago, on Twitter, I had asked Morrissey to name his current three favourite Smiths songs and, as recorded on my blog entry of May 4th, the song he listed first was.....wait for it.....wait a little know what's coming.....I Want the One I Can't Have. Morrissey (as Alfs Button) tweeted last night when I made mention of this latest coincidence,  "Yes. Nothing to see here." The reality is, there is PLENTY to see here, but unfortunately no one is looking, and those that have looked, have then dismissed the authenticity of it all, and walked away. One day these people will be kicking themselves, although they're so inept, they'll probably miss.

And so to Morrissey's latest Twitterings, which occurred last night starting at 11.08pm (UK time - I have no idea if old Mozzer is in the UK or not, but if I was having a wager on it, I would stake that he is either in the UK or at home in Switzerland. I'm probably completely wrong. Perhaps he's in Rotterdam or anywhere, Liverpool or Rome. Who knows? Who cares as long as he's in The Wrong Arms). Morrissey was on top form, and treated his 52 followers to some hilarious tweets:

"Sputter. Where is my microphone."

"Mutter. Where is my tombstone?"

In reply to the latter of those two tweets, Jesse (@MozFiend) tweeted, "Where do you want your tombstone to be? How would you like it to look? What would you like it to say?" Jesse got the following response:

"Nowhere, Nondescript, Nothing."

Jesse replied, "You don't want midnight gatherings filled with debaunched wraiths dancing at your gravesite?" Morrissey replied:

"I suppose my death should be a facsimile of my life".

Jesse replied again tweeting, "Then your ghost will sing for us at your burial site?", to which Morrissey rather humorously came back with:

"Just ever so slightly out of tune." 
Image result for morrissey ghost

Jesse continued the conversation by apologising for being silly and embarrassing herself, to which Morrissey replied with the quote of the day:

"There is no embarrassment online otherwise Cheryl Bowel Movement Incontinence would be a hermit".

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Mozzer's second best quote of the day came in reply to Marcus the Greek (@PapaSonsFilm), who had tweeted a picture of Aston Villa footballers, Jack Grealish and John Terry. Our Mozzer responded to it by tweeting:

"One of these looks like a melting waxwork of a gnome and the older one looks like a White Van Man nonce."


Marcus replied, "Ha ha! You should have been a comedy writer", to which Moz tweeted:

"I hear it doesn't take much. Sometimes no talent required."

Here are the rest of OM's Twitter highlights from last night:

"We look to Windsor this weekend and gag. The Royal Dreading must, must, must, go ahead despite the growing disinterest from the general public. The crowds will be paid plants."

"My one wish for Ramadan is that IS target Windsor."

Image result for is terrorists

Morrissey finished his evening on Twitter by doing what every other Twitter user does, playing hashtag games. One of the trending hashtags was EndaRelationshipInFourWords, to which Morrissey tweeted the following three suggestions:

"Morrissey matters more darling"

"I voted Labour once"

"I've converted to Islam"

For the hashtag LoveInTheCountryside, OM tweeted:

"Is this the name of Bill Oddie's sex tape?"

Jesse replied to this by tweeting, "A sex tape of him could blind, maim or kill the unsuspecting", to which Mozzer replied:

"And they would pray for such an outcome."

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Although I missed Morrissey in The Wrong Arms yesterday, I did manage to have a brief exchange with him earlier today. I was keen to know if he still thought as highly of George Galloway as he did a couple of years ago, but I didn't get far. Here is our conversation:

ME: Two years ago you spoke supportingly of George Galloway. Do you still feel the same about him?

MOZ: Which me? The real me, or the real real me? To imitate ones true self for over seven years is terribly confusing. 

ME: Don't we know it! I have no idea when you are being the real you, the real real you or the parody you. Anyway, whichever you you currently are, what are your thoughts on Galloway? I really don't see anything other than a c**t in c**ts clothing.

MOZ: Takes a c**t to know a c**t

And then he was gone.


  1. I really must log on twit late on, I have a knack of missing things these yet in the early days I would be up to four in the morning on the all night chemist etc.. by the way campers get ready for a snippet of news

  2. of course I meant I would be up until four.. hey hum

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  4. Agree where is everyone and why would they go ? I enjoy your blog though there are days I feel foolish having to look up meanings or the people you or M are referring to. I wish I could respond quicker, unfortunately life calls, calling for me too many times a day. This afternoon I rode the bike and laughed to the many tweets and replies. Thank you to all. My favorite being end a relationship in four words “Morrissey matters more darling.” That would do it .

    1. Don't feel foolish having to look up the meaning of Bill Oddie - there is no meaning.

      It's funny how Morrissey's very British songs have been embraced in foreign lands, and yet there are certain other things that are just SO British, that they cannot be fully understood or embraced by those outside our little island - our sense of humour being one of them. Culture, history, identity, quirks, roots etc are all SO, SO important to a nation, which is why we are seeing Morrissey become more passionate and outspoken about protecting them. If the political correctness in Britain isn't nipped in the bud very soon, Britain's identity will be eaten away completely, particularly by the very dangerous and ugly cult of Islam.
      Brexit may save us.

  5. At least there are a few of us who are still looking. Apparently M was spotted in Berlin recently, so maybe he hasn't strayed very far away. And by the way, I'm not the only one around here who identifies with being an animal, so is it really so strange?

  6. just to prove colonel whiskers right I have deleted a comment, what a coincidence, I was in Berlin yesterday, I actually acted as a courier yesterday dropping paperwork off at two airports, I am absolutely knackered now though, cant see me volunteering as a courier ever again

  7. "I've converted to Islam" best quote of the week! 👍🏻❤️

  8. Just curious how you came up with a city called 'Rotterdam'?


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