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Tuesday, 15 May 2018

Tuesday May 15 2018 (The real and proper Day 2435) - The real, real Morrissey

In the past week I have been pulled in many directions, and none of them have been in the direction of The Wrong Arms. My Twitter timeline shows me that I haven't missed too much, but I have missed Our Mozzer on three occasions.

On Thursday of last week - just before 9pm (UK time) - OM (as @AlfsButton) tweeted, "This is a time that cannot pass but it passes even so."

When Kev (@MozzaKev) replied to say that we will soldier on until the world stops going around, Mozzer responded, "The world stopped spinning years ago. We now are on a spiral of despair."

Morrissey then tweeted, "In 25 years time the UK Number One will be sung in Arabic. The news will be read to you in Arabic. Your wife will be raped to the sounds of the Arabic tongue."

Goodness only knows how the snowflakes would have reacted if that last tweet had been posted on Morrissey Central. We would no doubt have seen another stream of lily livered politically correct Morrissey fans leaving the stable, although actually, there surely can't be any of the 'offended by anything' brigade left! The Guardian and Uncle Skinny would self combust with rage if the real Morrissey made such a statement. Ironically, it is we 47 followers of AlfsButton who get to see the real, real Morrissey.


Mozzer returned to The Arms again on Sunday evening to reply to a tweet by @MozzeriansUnite, who had posted a copy of a piece in The Observer/Guardian about a book written by fanzine writer, Dave Haslam, which includes a recollection by Haslam of the day he cooked Cauliflower Cheese for Morrissey - which Morrissey didn't eat because, according to Haslam, Morrissey had already been fed by his mother. MozzeriansUnite had tweeted, "We're all wondering what he had for tea, aren't we", to which Mozzer replied, "Self loathing and yoghurt."

Image result for MORRISSEY 1983

Morrissey again put in a brief appearance at The Arms last night, and followed up on the subject of the visit to Haslam's house: "I had not eaten before arriving. However once I saw the dinner abomination I immediately vomited across my seminal jeans. I see that was omitted from the account."

Haslam is yet another in a very long line of people who have tried to make money and a name for themselves on the back of Morrissey. Julie 'Pigsick' Hamill and Dickie Felt 'em have taken it a step further, writing books about people who don't even know Morrissey. Some of us our happy to write about Morrissey anonymously, and without trying to make money.... although if in 2035 you see an edited version of FTM in a bookshop near you, then feel free to call me a hypocrite.

Haslam has also given an interview to The Guardian to promote his book, and in the interview he is quoted as saying, "Everything he (Morrissey) was - informed, charming, gentle - he is opposite now - uninformed, charmless, bitter and twisted. It's a strange one, especially because he says he hasn't changed. From my perspective, he has."

Of course Haslam is completely and utterly wrong. He has made the common mistake of judging Morrissey on the stories he reads in the mainstream media. Those of us who interact with Morrissey on Twitter know the truth:

A) Morrissey is more informed than most, and certainly more informed than Haslam - and this ISN'T information that is fed by The Guardian or the BBC, it is researched information about what is really going on in the world.

B) Morrissey is anything but charmless, he is as witty and delightful as ever. Just because Haslam may not agree with Morrissey on something - probably Brexit - it doesn't make Morrissey any less charming. Haslam hasn't spoken to Morrissey in years, he doesn't know him at all. Those (dozen or so) of you who are reading this blog right now on May 15th 2018 know more about the 2018 Morrissey than the likes of Dave Haslam. Yes Haslam once cooked cauliflower cheese for Morrissey, but that was thirty five years ago. Haslam knows NOTHING of the Morrissey of 2018, in the same way that my girlfriend/boss/work mates/casual acquaintances of thirty five years ago know nothing of me now.

C) Bitter and twisted....yeah, I'll give Haslam that one.

Morrissey's only other tweet from last night was in reply to Frankie Boyle, who had tweeted, "Say what you like about Eurovision but it's always promoted tolerance. Tolerance of shit music." Moz replied, "Say what you like about the United Kingdom but it's always promoted tolerance. Tolerance of shit comedians."

 Image result for frankie boyle


  1. oh i had to miss the Eurovision, I was out er.. drinking, I see I missed a stage invader busy as a bee at work at work i'm afraid, still, world peace is none of my beeswax

  2. I've been pulled in many different directions lately too, so I haven't been around much, but I'm glad to see that you're still blogging and Alf is still gracing us with his delightfully twisted presence - wouldn't want it any other way. Not being from the UK, I've never had cauliflower cheese, but I have to say it doesn't sound terribly appealing.

  3. Considering the title of this blog entry, it's quite funny that Morrissey Central has just posted a video clip with the title, "The real Morrissey" (along with several other video clips).


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