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Saturday, 28 July 2018

Saturday July 28th 2018 - Day 2509 - Free yourself, be yourself, come to The Arms and see....

There was excitement in The Wrong Arms on Thursday afternoon following the appearance of Morrissey (as @Alfsbutton) who announced, "Parody in progress. Setting - Morrissey Mansions. Currently in attendance: The Seminal Artiste, Boz, Bracewell. More attendees expected. TheRatsBack was not invited but arrived nonetheless."

The tweet was 'liked/favourited/love hearted' by 20 different people, including a number of names that I didn't recognise, so it does make one wonder if there are more people silently observing all these shenanigans than one might have thought. The Alf Twitter account has had a recent swell in it's number of followers, and now totals 130! Fame, fame, fatal parody fame. One of those followers is infamous Moz photographer, Kevin Cummins (@KCMANC) - has Kevin finally realised that there is something in this MorrisseysWorld/Blue Rose nonsense after all?

Image result for kevin cummins morrissey

Another who has suddenly taken an interest in our story, and is interacting with me on Twitter quite regularly, is Morrissey tribute act, Paul 'Freeyourself - Viva Morrissey' Blake. I am pretty sure Paul knows it really is Morrissey behind the Parody Moz, but at the moment he is refusing to admit it, with the reason being, self preservation. If Paul lets himself admit that it really is Morrissey, then that means he has to also accept that his idol has had a dig or two at him, and just like Marianne before him, Paul's skin is too thin to take any sort of criticism from his hero.


I fully understand how Paul feels, and remember only too well how I felt on the first two or three occasions that Morrissey wrote things that hurt me, but I eventually managed to get my head around the fact that Morrissey has a side to him that is both unempathetic (made up word?) and cruel, and I no longer take any comments to heart - my rat skin has thickened.
Image result for rat rose

I guess it has been easier for me to accept these sides of Morrissey's character because A) I have spent more time than most interacting with him, and have therefore gotten to understand him a little bit better and B) I too can on occasion lack empathy and be cruel, so I can relate to such behaviour - I don't actually see these as negative points, and after all, we are what we are. There is NO C).

My advice to Paul would be to free yourself, be yourself, come to the Arms and see.....the REAL Morrissey.
Image result for morrissey angry

Anyway, enough about thick skinned rats and thin skinned Morrissey impersonators.....oops, he doesn't like being called an impersonator and I wouldn't want to be accused of being cruel......anyway, enough of thin skinned Morrissey, er, Morrissey, um.....oh, fuck it, Morrissey impersonators, and more about that new parody, or NOT as the case may be.

When Alf posted his tweet about a new parody on Thursday afternoon, I was lazing in the sun watching England Under 19s play cricket in Gosforth, so I posted a photo of the cricket match and tweeted, "See, it really ISN'T me who is @Alfsbutton", to which Alf replied, "You have clearly stolen that image from Google." Morrissey likes the fact that a lot of people think I am the Parody Moz, and I don't mind people thinking it either, but sometimes it is nice to prove that I am not, just to make people like Uncle Skinny look stupid with their accusations, so I then took a photo of the cricket pavilion clock and posted that on Twitter along with, "And what about the one of the South Northumbria Cricket Club pavilion showing the current time?". Morrissey wittingly retorted, "I need dates to prove you are not me", to which I too used wit, replying, "But you already know I am not you - Ok, if you insist, I'll take you on a date, but don't go trying anything on."

The next thing I knew, a DM arrived from Our Mozzer in the message box of my smart phone, which read:

"I am unable to reply to your last tweet. You must therefore delete it. How dare you outsmart a semi-retired seminal artiste!"

Image result for morrissey surprised

It is a very rare event getting one over on The Mozziah, and also very dangerous waters for me to enter into. I have gotten a little too close and a little too familiar with Morrissey lately, and when that has happened before, Morrissey usually distances himself from me. It is now time for me to back away, but do I have the discipline to do so? Unfortunately I can't ever seem to stop myself behaving like an excitable puppy when I am in his company.

Anyway, I seem to have gone off track a bit. Back to the new parody piece. At 6pm on Thursday Alf posted another tweet which stated, "Parody production held up due to logistical issues" - and we have heard nothing since! Perhaps Morrissey has decided to back away first.....or maybe the broadband in Altrincham has packed up.

And finally - and it actually might be finally if he doesn't come back - on this day in 2012, myself and a number of others involved in this wonderful journey met up for the first time as we attended Morrissey's concert at the Manchester Arena with our blue roses in hand. It is the day when the BRS really got started.....not that either Marcus or I managed to get a rose to Morrissey. Happy days.



  1. there is the mentioning of that bloody town Altrincham again, last time I was there (not so long ago) I slipped whilst under the influence.. wait for it.. outside the bloody ice rink.. I kid you not

  2. Excellent little pun in the title.

  3. Ah, that Manchester concert. Morrissey was trying not to look at your bulbous salutation.

    1. More like my floppy salutation:

  4. Alf is more popular than you implied - he actually has 130 followers, not just 30 (technically it's up to 131 now). Here's hoping we'll get that new parody soon - I can't stand the anticipation any longer.

    1. A typo - purposely done, of course, to make sure people were paying attention. Well done for spotting it first, you win two euros.

  5. I thought you were going to take a picture of a newspaper to prove the date. That was a very good comeback. I think I was the only person who liked that tweet. Looking forward to the new parody.

  6. I stick to my theory there are many more out there silently watching, too scared to engage or can’t connect all the dots.When I was reading the blogs there were others doing the same and from all over the world, but not commenting. One possible explanation is they didn’t think you would see comments on a post dated blog(as I thought) or another being they had questions, were confused and/or then gave up thinking you/ they were mental. As said it’s a lot to take in and to have faith in your own psychological state, I mean you are following breadcrumbs to M land. .I tried to explain this journey to a friend and they asked if I was feeling alright....I will be sad one day if they all do find us here I enjoy our little group and the special connection we have. Really looking forward to the parody piece I could use a good smirk. Let’s bust it out Mr. semi retired SA!

  7. I hope to read a new parody as soon as possible, am I asking too much?

  8. ok so we know M has been sighted in LA.. any pics people (only flattering ones of course)


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